Man Who Fell Asleep on MLB Opening Day Finally Wakes Up

By Drew Conclusions

Senior Correspondent, Waterboy Times

Published September 21, 2026

NEW YORK - Fans of baseball may remember Joseph “Sleepy Joe” Schmidt from MLB opening day. He showed up with a pillow and blanket stating “God this sport is so boring”

As the season went on, he continued to sleep, concerning some fans and becoming a landmark for others. Fans posted their photos next to the slumbering fan, posting them under #SleepyJoe. "It is really good fun" one fan told us "He is a local landmark". Some speculate that Schmidt attempted to do a 999 challenge, passing out sometime around the 6th inning. Fans nearby told stadium officials however, that baseball is so hard to watch that he fell asleep from pure boredom.

Fans were excited to learn this morning that Sleepy Joe is finally awake. Some fans speculate if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of regular season before the playoffs. "I really hope he doesn't see his shadow" that same fan regarded "I don't know if I can take much more baseball. I can't wait for it to end so there is more time to focus on more exciting sports."

Schmidt hurriedly to pack his things and rush home, worried if another game started he would see how boring it is and fall right back asleep.